Affair Recovery Counseling
Has your relationship been shaken by an affair?
Are you the Hurt Partner and having a hard time healing from the pain and trusting again?
You feel crazy because you can’t stop thinking about what your partner did to you. You find yourself checking their phone, not trusting their word. You wish you could get over it but the pain of what they did still hurts. You are seeking marriage counseling for a space to recover from the pain and build a relationship with more transparency, security and respect.
Are you the one who had the affair and feeling hopeless?
You know your partner is hurt, but you don’t know how to fix your marriage or make things better for them. You feel stuck, wanting to help, but unsure of how to get through this. You try your best to move on but your partner keeps bringing up the past, which only furthers your feelings of hopelessness. You may be struggling with guilt, shame, and frustration.
An affair does not have to be the last chapter of your marriage.
There is hope.
Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m here to help you.
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in Summerville, South Carolina. I provide a roadmap for marriages after an affair has been discovered.
For many couples, the aftermath of an affair can feel earth-shattering and isolating. The pain can be overwhelming and often leaves couples feeling hopeless and frustrated. Couples may try to move forward, but this often leads to rushing through the healing process and then the pain resurface weeks or months later. It’s common for couples to stay together after an affair, but many end up burying the pain and avoiding difficult conversations.
My Role:
My role is to give you the tools you need to navigate difficult conversations, put in measures to safeguard your relationship from another betrayal, and to transform your relationship into one with deeper love and connection.
My Training:
I have specific training in Relational Life Therapy, Gottman Method Couples Therapy and working with affairs. I am also guided by Esther Perel’s work in infidelity.
What You Can Expect: a roadmap to affair recovery
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Crisis Phase
The initial disclosure or discovery of an affair can feel like a crisis. There are often multiple intense emotions- anger, sadness, denial, numbness, a sense of loss. Couples may be stuck in cycles of the same arguments or avoiding the topic completely.
How I Can Help:
I give couples feedback on actionable steps they can take to move through the initial discovery of an affair and what to do when the past gets triggered. I’ll sit with them in the pain and give hope when they need.
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Make Meaning
During this phase, the couple is learning how to reconnect and handle the traumatic aftershocks. The Hurt Partner may still have questions or want to express their pain. The couple may begin having some honest conversation about themselves and the relationship before the affair happened.
How I Can Help:
I coach couples on how to have conversations that create deeper understanding, how to make repairs, and take healthy accountability.
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A New Vision
Not only can couples survive an affair, but they can thrive afterward. With deeper understanding and healing, couples have the opportunity to transform their marriage into one built on transparency, respect, deep love, and renewed commitment.
How I Can Help:I can support you in creating a new vision for your relationship. I’ll coach you on how to effectively ask for what you need and help you find greater fulfillment in your marriage.
You are Considering Affair Counseling but Have a Few Questions
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You are not alone, this is such a normal worry. Many Involved Partners deeply care about healing from an affair but have never been taught how to do it. Involved partners often carry their own set of pain, guilt, and shame. My role is to walk alongside you and give you the tools to get you through this chapter. I do not treat Involved Partners as villains. I help to create a safe space for both people in the marriage.
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My therapeutic approach does not allow me to work with couples if there is an on-going affair.
Withholding an active affair does not allow authentic progress and trust in the therapy room.
I may refer out if either the therapist or partner suspects on-going acting out behaviors such as:lying
withholding information
telling “partial truths”.
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Not necessarily, it’s common for Hurt Partners to contemplate divorce and separation after they discover an affair. Participating in Affair Recovery Counseling can help you decide if the relationship is salvageable.
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Oftentimes the affair is already on the minds of the Hurt partner and Involved partner. Couples who don't talk and process the affair may notice other changes in their relationship- they experience anxiety when they see their partner pick up their phone. Engaging in sex becomes difficult. They see their partner tense or closed off. They become depressed and irritable. Many Hurt Partners need their spouse to express remorse, compassion and validation to begin healing from the affair. Talking about the impact of the affair can lead to the both of you creating a new shared vision of how you want your relationship to be even stronger then it was before.
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Research says it can take up to 2 years for couples to heal from an affair, however, that does not mean you need years of therapy.
The typical couple works with me for 4-6 months. The length