Last of Us Season Two Episode Two (Spoilers): A Couples Therapist thoughts on the Relationship between Ellie and Diana

Outside of being a couples therapist in South Carolina, I am also a lover of post-apocalyptic and dystopian shows. I knew that The Last of Us was super popular in the gaming world but I never got around to playing it so unlike those who have played the game, I am going into this blind and hanging on by a thread. Like many of you, this season was shocking, distressing and so heartbreaking. As a licensed marriage and gamily therapist, I couldn’t help but start to wonder the death of Joel is going to do to Ellie as the season progresses. How her bond with him and traumatic loss will set the stage for future romantic connections — like her developing relationship with Dina!

Once again, I haven’t played the games all of my thoughts are only speculation as someone who has no idea what’s coming next.

The Early Bonds: Building (or Breaking) Safety

Ellie and Joel, The Last of Us, Season One, image by HBO

I often view people through an attachment-based lens, and this theory teaches us that our early caregivers wire our brains for intimacy. Through consistent, sensitive care, we learn that we are lovable and that others can be trusted. Without it, we often struggle with vulnerability, connection, and self-worth. We also learn whether or not we can trust our intimate partners to understand and attune to our needs.

For Ellie, parental care was a mixed bag—if it existed at all. The show hints that she lost her mother very early, and there’s an underlying sense that she’s had to fend for herself most of her life. Not having consistent caregiving creates this sense of over-independence: "If I can’t rely on anyone, I have to rely on myself" ... "I don’t need anybody ... I can figure it out on my own."

Ellie’s Emerging Attachment Style

If I had to guess, I’d say Ellie falls into a complex and disorganized attachment style, rooted in childhood trauma. This attachment style lives somewhere between anxious and avoidant. Deep down, she craves connection—just like anyone—but she carries an overwhelming fear that the people she gets close to will either betray her, leave her, or even die. So, of course, she learned how to be hyper-independent and stay guarded.

This creates a real internal dilemma for her. There’s a part of her that wants to reconnect with Joel, and another part that wants to push him as far away as possible.

I think she uses this tough exterior, again, to protect the more vulnerable parts of herself. Not to mention, she’s living in a world that's literally falling apart and turning people not just into zombies, but into relentlessly cruel and untrustworthy beings. I found myself empathizing with Ellie in this episode. It’d be easy to judge her anger and think she should "get over it," but I can imagine how deeply trust was broken when Joel looked her directly in the eyes—and lied. Understandably, that's going to make her even more guarded and unforgiving. Whether consciously or subconsciously, it’s going to make her question him: Can I trust the people I love to be honest with me?

A New Couple: Ellie and Dina

Ellie and Dina, The Last of Us, Season Two

Then we have this new dynamic between Dina and Ellie. I saw Dina as this sort of middle person, witnessing the attachment wound between Joel and Ellie. I thought the dance scene between Dina and Ellie conveyed the message that Dina accepts Ellie—fully. With Dina, Ellie can be herself, be playful, and get vulnerable—parts of herself she can’t easily show in the brutal world she’s living in.

I’m really curious to see how—and if—Ellie processes the trauma of losing Joel in the coming episodes. I think her unprocessed grief is going to lead to a lot of violence and revenge. I can see moments of closeness between her and Dina, but also Ellie being haunted and vengeful throughout the season.

Maybe Dina becomes the only person who can get Ellie to be vulnerable—but I can also see Ellie pulling away when she feels too threatened or exposed. I could even see Ellie lashing out at Dina if she interprets Dina’s behaviors as "abandonment," or when Ellie feels unworthy of love. And like I said earlier, Ellie attachment style lives between avoidance and anxious. I can also see Ellie abandoning her own needs and safety for Diana because she becomes some engrossed in her love for her. It’ll be a “ I’ll die and do anything for you-but the moment you fuck up, I’m outta here” kinda vibe. This could leave very little room for Diana to process her own daily trauma, anger and grief.

I’m really curious how Ellie will handle her hyper-independence with Dina. If Ellie wants a close relationship, she'll have to recognize and own her emotional reactions. She’ll have to risk being vulnerable—to say, "I’m scared you’ll leave," rather than hiding behind anger or withdrawal. In the emotionally focused model, this kind of openness creates the foundation for secure bonding: I can reach for you, and you will be there.

But of course, this is all easier said than done—this is a dystopian, zombie-filled world we’re talking about. Forming secure attachments is already hard enough, never mind when you’ve got Clickers and Bloaters ambushing your commune.

My Predictions

The Last of Us is unforgiving. If this episode taught me anything, it’s that no character is safe—and the ones we love most can be taken out at any moment.

My worry is that the moment Ellie finally starts feeling safe with Dina will be the exact moment Dina either leaves, betrays her, or—ugh—gets killed off. Ellie will go on a killing rampage and lose her own humanity—becoming the very thing she is trying to seek revenge on…a cold-hearted monster.

Is that too morbid? Probably. But also... would it really surprise any of us at this point?